


Connecting the Dots

by dottie_wan_kenobi



Series: Harry Potter (series) Fics [22]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Buzzfeed Unsolved Fusion, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, BFU-typical violence, Banter, F/M, Fluff and Humor, POV Lily Evans Potter, Self-Indulgent, references to violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:35:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27909097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dottie_wan_kenobi/pseuds/dottie_wan_kenobi
Summary: “Lily, I’m not joking,” James hisses, leaning his head in close. The cameraman, Benjy Fenwick, adjusts awkwardly, trying to capture his face, which is currently home to the widest eyes she’s probably ever seen. “I saw a ghost. A full-body apparition! Oh gods, I hate it down here, why did I say we should come here? This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. We’re gonna die. We’re gonna get killed by the bloody Splinched Man!”
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter
Series: Harry Potter (series) Fics [22]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1799116
Kudos: 15





	Connecting the Dots

**Author's Note:**

> This is a very self-indulgent AU that doesn't really have a plot? However it was super fun to write so. hell yeah.
> 
> Some knowledge of Buzzfeed Unsolved would help but I think it's okay even if you don't know the show

“So I just have to sit there and listen to you tell me stories?” Lily asks, looking up from her computer screen. 

James, standing beside her with his body folded awkwardly between Lily and Emmeline’s desks, nods. He looks a bit nervous, but his voice is steady when he says, “Yeah, pretty much. You can talk and react and stuff. Insert a bit of humor in, you know how it is.”

“Hmm.” She clicks over to her planner, scanning it. She hasn’t signed up to appear in any videos yet, had been waiting for something that caught her attention. Sitting beside James Potter, listening to him talk about true crime isn’t anything like her usual gig, but it does sound interesting. If she wants to make a name for herself, a series—especially one about such a popular genre—would be a good place to start. “When do you need me?”

“I was thinking Tuesday, but I can reschedule if you need—”

“Tuesdays are good,” she says. “What time?”

“Just after lunch?”

Nodding, she adds it to her planner. _True Crime show w/ Potter_ , Tuesday at 1 pm. “I’ll make sure to brush my teeth before we get started, then.”

* * *

“Are you seriously suggesting right now that Cyrus Clearwater might’ve been _kidnapped_ by a _sasquatch_?”

“Well, look at the evidence! He scaled one of the Rocky Mountains in America, a trip he’d been very excited and prepared for what with all the training he did, and set up camp in a spot very close to a sighting—”

“—a _supposed_ sighting—”

“—yes, fine, whatever, a _supposed_ sighting. He’d packed everything he could possibly need for a few days up there, so it’s not like he could’ve just run out of anything. And you heard how his campsite was found, Lily, you can’t be saying to me that you think it’s _normal_ that—”

“Obviously it’s not normal, no one would leave so much of their food out like that in a tent that’s open to the nature around it. Especially not someone as skilled as him. If he’d left on his own, that indicates to me he was planning on coming back.”

“Right, exactly! But if he heard some weird sound and went to investigate, and then boom, Bigfoot snatches him up—”

“James, that’s ridiculous.”

“They found, and I quote, ‘large footprints’ around his tent.”

“Let me see that. … Okay, look at this picture. It’s hard to tell but I think—”

“Oh gods, no, you’re not telling me you think those are his own footprints? Look at it, it’s massive!”

“Well, maybe they aren’t his, but they aren’t bloody _Bigfoot’s_ —”

* * *

“Oh look,” Lily says, holding her phone out for James to see. On the screen is an image from their latest video, the Amaryllis Marchbanks burglary one. Lily looks all-together too pleased of herself, while James is face-palming so hard, the exasperation radiates from him even now. She remembers that moment well—wishes there was a caption on the picture so she could remember exactly how she claimed maybe Marchbanks was robbed by her neighbor, who James had thought wasn’t suspicious at all—and an odd mix of smugness and fondness well up in her. “We’re a meme.”

James laughs excitedly. “I’ve always wanted to be a meme. Send that to me, I’m gonna rub it in Sirius’s face.”

She leans back in her chair, twisted slightly to face him rather than the work on her computer. Scrolling on her phone, she finds his name—Potter, with a ghost emoji next to it—and forwards it to him. The previous conversation was a picture of James with his cat, and Lily gushing about how adorable the little snowball is.

Rubbing her thumb along the side of her phone case, she looks over at him. He’s grinning down at his own phone, typing quickly in his groupchat. His glasses are sliding down his nose. There are curls drooping down into his eyes. 

Working with him involves a lot of arguing, but it’s so fun, butting heads, teasing him, and laughing so hard she cries and making them have to redo takes. She is getting more popular from this show, but even better—she’s made a friend.

Stretching her leg out to kick at his chair, she asks, “You still up for tacos tonight?”

He scoffs good-naturedly. “Please. If I ever turn down taco night, just assume I’m a clone.”

“Sent by the government to trick me, specifically?”

“Duh,” he says, and winks.

* * *

“Hello and welcome to another episode of _Magic Unsolved: Review Period_ , I’m your host James Potter and as you can see, this is not the very lovely Lily Evans—”

“Oi, I’m plenty lovely!”

“Of course you are, Sirius. Don’t worry, all the boys and girls out there are probably falling in love with you as we speak.”

“Gross. I’m taken, thank you very much.”

“You’re the one who brought it up.”

“You’re the one who said I wasn’t lovely.”

“I didn’t—”

“Anyway, yes, hi, I’m Sirius Black, and if you’re wondering where Lily’s gone off to, well, she’s living her best life on vacation right now. Poor Jamie is stuck with me today.”

“Lily, please come back. You were right. I can’t work with Sirius. This is like the tenth take—”

“Aaaand our first question comes from Twitter! From, oh, a Alice Longbottom, she says—”

* * *

“Lily, I’m not joking,” James hisses, leaning his head in close. The cameraman, Benjy Fenwick, adjusts awkwardly, trying to capture his face, which is currently home to the widest eyes she’s probably ever seen. “I saw a ghost. A full-body apparition! Oh gods, I hate it down here, why did I say we should come here? This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. We’re gonna die. We’re gonna get killed by the bloody Splinched Man!”

Lily bites down on a laugh, instead putting her hands on his shoulders, not caring that her camera set up is in the way. “Hey, take a breath.”

He sucks in some stale air, much too fast, and she doesn’t think it should work in calming him down. But somehow, staring into her eyes, it does. Some of the panic abates, though she can feel how twitchy he is. 

“You’re not scared of ghosts,” she tells him. It feels weird being the one comforting him—he’s more than used to creepy crawly dark places, apparently, and almost never has an issue when they go to visit locations. Even though Lily’s not scared either, really, she’s the one who ends up needing a hug before the night is over most of the time. It’s either that stupid spirit box giving her a massive headache, or the lack of sleep catching up, or the uncomfortable realization that someone was killed _right there_. “What’s it gonna do? Tug your hair? I mean, really, James, think. What could it do to you?”

“Don’t say that, you’ll jinx us,” he replies, less of a hiss this time thankfully but still a bit sharp with nerves. “We’ll be the first ones to be killed by a ghost now. On camera, too. How embarrassing.”

Lily can’t help but laugh at that, closing her eyes and shaking her head slightly in mirth. “We’ll be immortalized as the bravest ghost hunters in the world.”

James relaxes a bit at that, getting into the swing of joking around, and opens his mouth probably intending on teasing her back. Instead, his eyes flick over her shoulder, and he screams, “Splinched Man!”

* * *

“Our third and final theory is that Marissa Nott was murdered. The house-elf, Jiggy, said she was aware of Marissa having a visitor, but could not say who as she’d been banished from the sitting room for the rest of the night. No other house elves witnessed this potential visitor, though several reported hearing more than one voice coming from that room. The voice was described as being deep, the steps heavier than Mrs. Nott’s. As the theory goes, perhaps Mrs. Nott and this unknown person got into an argument that ended with an altercation—”

“Maybe they were a jilted lover? Someone she owed money to? Lots of tension can grow in relationships like those, and if they explode like they’re wont to do, it can get violent.”

“I agree, and I thought of the lover thing too. We know she and her husband were on the outs, after all, I wouldn’t be too surprised if one or both of them were indulging people on the side. I think this one fits a lot better than the suicide angle, personally, though it’s interesting that we’re back to that tome that was found bloody and smashed up. It was a priceless, original edition of _Notes on Creation and Invention_ by Amadeus Nott, written some 150 years before Marissa’s untimely death.”

“Yeah, not exactly an easy way to kill yourself, that.”

“Definitely not. And I’m not convinced it’s a dark object, though that theory was interesting too.”

“Right? Who’s gonna infuse a book like that with dark magic, and then… kill themselves or get killed with it by being _hit_ with it? Can you imagine—wait, work with me here. Let’s say you and I have a priceless book with familial meaning to you. And I come in and say, ‘hey, James, time to die,’ and you go, ‘okay, sounds great! Let me just put this book down!’ so—”

“Hey, hey, if you ever came in saying it was time for me to die, I’d know you’re a clone, ‘cause you’d never kill me. I want you to know that. Okay, go back to this hypothetical scenario.”

“Hypothetical.”

“Yes, hypothetical. … Right? _Right_ , Lily?”

“…Right. Haha, okay, just—what I’m saying is, you’re gonna open that book up if you’re trying to kill yourself with it. Or I would open it up and let whatever nasty curse is attached to it do all the work. Why get your hands dirty? Why damage a book she cared so much about?”

“Well, if it’s a jilted lover, then a crime of passion would make sense—”

* * *

“Hey, you know people online ship us, right?”

Lily scrunches up her nose. “I’d kind of been avoiding thinking about that, actually, thank you.”

James fidgets in a way that she’s come to associate with embarrassment, his fingers curling around the armrest on his desk chair. “Does it make you uncomfortable?”

Tapping her fingers on the desk, she gives it a moment of thought. It’s not so much having so many eyes on her, but rather the way all of their interactions get analyzed down to the most minute of gestures. The little crush she has on him is so obvious, looking at those gifs. They make her nervous that he’ll be able to tell, and hell, if all these other people can see it, surely he can too. He’s not stupid.

But she does wonder at all the people who say it’s reciprocated, who write tweet after Tumblr post after Youtube comment about the way he looks at her. She avoids those the most, her stomach swooping with nerves and hope every time she indulges. It’s easier for people on the internet to think about those things, but Lily can’t sit and casually eat pizza with him and have the idea that he has heart-eyes for her at the same time. It’s too much.

“Not really,” she says anyway, and doesn’t elaborate. “What about you? What’d you find?”

He winces, and pulls out his phone, opening it up to show her something. “Fanart. Look at this, it’s beautiful, but I wasn’t cowering. Not that much, anyway.”

It is beautiful, a rendition of their trip to the Ravenclaw Estate, where they heard voices all night long. A snuggly-shut cabinet had opened on its own—according to him, anyway—and a tiara had fallen out, somehow not shattering against the stone floor. Poor James had been on edge after hearing his own name in the spirit box, and had jumped behind her at the loud clattering sound. On his screen, she sees them, the drawing!Lily standing protectively in front of the definitely-cowering drawing!James. 

Handing his phone back, she tries not to react as their fingers brush against each other. “It’s cute. Not very shippy, though. Have you seen that one of us kissing on Gaunt Bridge?”

She doesn’t know why she says it. It’s not like she goes looking for that kind of content, and gods forbid if he thinks she does now, because that would be so embarrassing—

“What? No! Show me, show me, show me. I love that bridge.”

“Benjy almost fell off of it,” Lily says, following their banter’s usual beats. But still, she grabs her phone, stomach swooping and turning over as she searches for the art. _How will he react?_ , she wonders.

His eyes scan over the screen. It’s not a raunchy thing—though she has accidentally seen one or two of those, _thank you so much for sending them Marlene_ —but still. It’s James and herself, kissing. The artist had drawn it to be a little awkward, she thinks. Drawing!James’s hands are hanging limply by his sides, his eyes open and staring down at her. Drawing!Lily’s are on his arms like that time he had a breakdown over the Splinched Man, her face scrunched a little and her eyes fully shut, like she’s nervous. 

“Hmm,” he says after a moment. “They got something wrong.”

“What?” She frowns.

“If I’d kissed you on that bridge, I would’ve had my arms around your waist. Don’t want you falling off, now do we, love.”

* * *

“Hello and welcome to another episode of _Magic Unsolved: Review Period_ , I’m your host James Potter and this is the very lovely Lily Evans!”

“What was last week’s episode again?”

“The Rookwood conspiracy. One of our better ones, I’d say. It had murder, a love triangle, nepotism, sexual intrigue—”

“Everything you need to make a good story, definitely, hahaha.”

“Right? Anyway, let’s get to these questions.”

“Yes, let’s, before you say anything else about _sexual intrigue_ and whip everyone up into a frenzy.”

“I have no idea what you mean, Lils. None at all.”

* * *

“Thank gods that’s over,” James says, rolling his shoulders out and somehow not pitching down the stairwell of their workplace. “Now we just have to walk down all twelve million of these steps, and then we can go home and never think about the Lestrange family ever again.”

“Isn’t Sirius related to them somehow?” She smirks. Though, really, she’d prefer not to, too. _Answering questions for this episode is going to suck_ , she thinks with no small amount of dread.

James shudders. “We don’t talk about it.”

“Can’t blame you,” she says. Twenty-seven steps later, she asks, “Hey, do you wanna come over to mine? I recorded _Snapped_. We could get some Chinese on the way?”

“Oh, witch, you are sent by the gods. That sounds like the best night ever.”

She grins to herself, and decides to push a little bit. “You can stay the night, if you want.”

James is quiet for a moment that drags on just a little too long. When she looks up at him, he’s still standing a few steps behind, blinking at her.

“James?”

“Oh!” He comes back to himself, then, and beams, reaching down to grab her hand. “Yes. I want. I want to stay the night, I mean. Definitely.”

For a few seconds, they just smile at each other stupidly. Then she gently squeezes his fingers, and says, “Good. Let’s keep going. We have a date to get to after all.”

“Stir-fry and _Snapped_ ,” he sighs, sounding as content as she’s ever heard. “I don’t wanna miss that for the world. If only there was a working elevator in this bloody building.”

* * *

“Tyrannus Twycross was found the next morning, face down on the bed he’d entertained several mistresses in. He was exposed to several curses before death—”

“That’s cold.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Well, his wife absolutely did it. Her husband was cheating left and right, and then he gets passion-killed in the guest bedroom? That can’t be a coincidence. So, yeah: cold. But in the cool way? Oh gods, I sound like you, James.”

“Ha! It was only a matter of time. But yeah, I’m suspicious of the wife. But… can you blame her? Be honest.”

“Oh, no, not at all. If you ever cheated on me…”

“I should probably be concerned, but honestly? Hot.”

“You’re weird.”

“You’re the one who just threatened me on camera.”

“….”

“I don’t like that look on your face. Ah! Stop laughing like that! Hahaha, you sound so cheesy. You can’t pull off the evil laugh without having a cat in your lap and stroking it all evilly.”

“Hey, I can do evil better than you! Take that back!”

“Never! Oh, shit, my papers, come back here—”

* * *

Lily snuggles further into James’s chest, closing her eyes and enjoying the quiet, peaceful moment. She loves that they get along so well, loves that they can talk for hours, but this is nice too. Just being together, not having to say anything to enjoy the time with nothing else to do, no one watching them.

She thinks maybe she’ll fall asleep, warm and cozy, cradled by his free arm. He’s on his phone, the light dim even in the dark, and every once in a while he huffs at something funny, but that’s okay. It’s not distracting—rather, it’s comforting, familiar.

Pressing a soft, mindless kiss to his skin, she floats somewhere between sleeping and waking.

Then James breaks the silence, whispering, “Lils?”

“Mmm?”

“Look at this picture of a dog tucked under a blanket.” He turns his phone enough so she can see, the screen light all the way down so as not to be offensive to her eyes.

“That’s adorable,” she says, pressing another kiss. He knows she loves dog pictures, and sends them to her at all hours of the day. “We should get a dog.”

“You say that every time.”

“We still don’t have a dog, love. I’ll stop when we do.”

“No, you’ll probably say we should get _another_ dog.”

“You said it,” she yawns. “Not me.”

He laughs, and they lapse into silence. She’s a little more awake, now, but not enough to do anything more than lay there and watch as he scrolls through his feeds.

“I’m really glad you asked me to be on your show,” she says, struck by the sudden thought that if she’d said no, or if he hadn’t asked at all, she wasn’t sure if they’d have gotten to this point.

He kisses the top of her head a few times. “I am too. But, hey, it’s our show now. Wouldn’t be the same without you.”

“Probably be lame without me.”

“Hah, yeah.”

“I’m gonna pick the next creepy place we go to. There’s gonna be beds there, okay? Don’t let me forget that. There’s gotta be beds.”

“Okay, love. I’ll write it down. Beds.”

She smirks. “And hopefully no demons.”

“You don’t even believe in those.”

“No, but you do. I gotta protect you from ‘em.”

“My knight in shining Go-Pro.”

She laughs, nuzzling her face down. “C’mon, let’s sleep. I can’t keep my eyes open.”

He shuts his phone off and sets it on the bedside table. Then he’s shifting them, chuckling at her complaining noises, and wraps himself around her. “Goodnight, love.”

“’Night,” she mumbles, floating again. “Try not to dream about the Splinched Man.”

“Lily,” he complains, under his breath as he watches her fall fully asleep, a smile on his face. “Gods, I’m gonna be up all night now.” He sighs, kisses her forehead, closes his eyes and tries not to remember that particular ghost. It’s easier, he finds, with her in his arms.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this, please consider leaving a comment. Thank you! <3


End file.
